Changes Requested for ActiveSupport instrumentation

During the SIG meeting on 2024-04-30, I brought up a few challenges of working with the existing ActiveSupport instrumentation, that were brought to our attention while instrumenting ActionMailer: https://github.com/open-telemetry/opentelemetry-ruby-contrib/pull/887

There were issues with missing options, implementation and naming that makes it difficult to use and potentially error prone. The list below includes some of the changes I would like to see:

• Support Setting Span Kind #1016
• Default to using the AS event name instead of splitting and inverting event names
• Allow users to provide a proc that formats the span name #1014
• Ingress/egress spans should default to the semantic conventions; while internal spans default to AS event name
• Switch to allow lists instead of deny (disallow...) lists and default to excluding PII
• Prevent users from mutating the ActiveSupport payload when extracting span attributes in notification_payload_transform
• Map Rails key names to semantic convention key names